Trouble

Today I got called out on some stuff. It's not unusual for me to get called out on something. I mean, let's face it, I screw up a lot of stuff. I have noticed in thinking about it that there are a couple ways to screw stuff up. You can do something wrong out of ignorance, or you can do something wrong deliberately. I think doing something wrong out of ignorance is much more ok, unless maybe the ignorance was due to arrogance. (like doing something you know you don't know anything about without finding anything out.) Then there is doing something wrong in a completely deliberate fashion. (like lying to your mom) So I am commonly guilty of both of these, however I would like to think that I am less commonly being belligerently wrong.

In situations when my wrongness is brought to my attention I am generally pretty good about just taking it and doing something pro active to fix the problem. I don't like wrongness especially when I am the cause so its reasonable for me to try to avoid it. I take rebuke as well as anyone, though sometimes, I just don't like it. I get defensive and start making excuses for what I am doing instead of just admitting my mistake, apologizing, and taking steps to prevent myself from doing it again. I understand the idea of consequences for sins, and I don't like often dealing with them, but its part of screwing up. What I don't understand is why I get that defensive thing. It doesn't make any sense, its just dumb and doesn't help. Even in understanding that I still want to make excuses and try to justify myself in my actions. Its just not worth it most of the time. I have a long way to go in understanding the loving discipline of God. Anyways, I am going to try to learn how to better accept being wrong, its about time I get used to it because I am wrong as often as anyone.