The Big Easy

Well, today is the day before the day I leave for New Orleans, and the day before the day before the day I'll arrive in New Orleans. I can only begin to describe how excited I am. For starters I am going to be staying in a really nice hotel in the French Quarter about half a block from Bourbon Street...did I mention we arrive on New Years Eve. Aside from the obvious excitement associated with being in that environment there's the primary focus of the trip; Our Cincinnati Bearcats are playing in the BCS Sugar Bowl against the vaunted Florida Gators. For a variety of reasons this game is going to be awesome. Some major highlights are that its a great chance to win against a school way more credible than say Oregon, or watching the greatest College player in history playing in the last game of his career, or watching one of the best coaches of a generation coach in what could be his last game, or maybe Mardy Gilyard showing everyone why he was a legitimate Heisman candidate even though he was totally under the radar. I don't know what's going to happen yet, I have to think Florida has a significant advantage at almost every position. They are faster, they have more experience on the big stage, they have played better competition this year, they certainly have a more interested coaching, and maybe the biggest edge for them is the before mentioned Tim Tebow. In spite of all that I think UC does have a chance, as Brian Kelly said once "We can't match up with them every week, but we don't have to. We only have to match up with them one week, and we can do that." Hopefully we can make it happen in the Big Easy...

For now I am going to finish today at work, pack things up tonight so I'm ready, go snow tubing tonight, work again tomorrow, and then I'm off on a wild adventure.

Avatar

I went to see Avatar with some friends of mine the other night, and for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I thought it was amazing. It has been criticized for lacking a compelling plot or engaging dialog, but I really liked it. The special effects where amazing, although, I think the 3D experience made one of the people that came with us really sick. The general story behind the movie is that this corporation is working collaboratively with the military to mine a precious energy resource from a planet called Pandora. The difficulty is that this resource is most concentrated directly under the spiritual epicenter of the indigenous people of Pandora. As part of a plan to relocate the civilization the government has created living bodies of the Navi` race that can be controlled by a link system to a human mind that has a matching nervous system. That's where Jake Sully, a former marine whose been paralyzed from the waist down comes into play. Apparently an Avatar was made from his twin brothers DNA, but his brother was killed so the only person the Avatar could work for is Jake; something to do with the similarities in their nervous system... From that point forward Jake is given the opportunity to reinvent who he is in a new body and a new world. In the beginning he can barely walk, doesn't speak a word of the native language, and doesn't know anything about the environment of his new world, but over time he starts to get the hang of it. Ultimately he is faced with a lot of choices between going forward with his potential new life or continuing with his old life. Maybe it's cheesy, but this is where I saw a lot of parallels to my own life. For example I'm secretly 10' tall and blue...

The storyline really reminded me of a verse in Corinthians "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." In Christ I have the opportunity to be something better than what I was. I have the opportunity to be more than I could ever be by myself. In the movie Jake is paralyzed, but is that really very different from the way we are without Christ. I mean I could walk, but could I love (maybe this is too much, but I think I would rather know love than be able to walk)? The really interesting thing is that for Jake to have his new life he has to make choices that alienate people in his old life, he has to go against his own loyalties and convictions for something he is convinced is better. I think that's a lot of what walking with Christ looks like for me; I see something shiny that I want and have to make choices about what my deepest desire is. I think Peter sums it up pretty well when he says

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." ~ 2 Peter 1:5-8

The point is to make choices consistently that mold you into being more like Christ. A huge part of this is just being disciplined in doing things I don't necessarily want to do for long enough until they become habits I can't function without doing. I remember when I was a kid I used to hate brushing my teeth. I don't know why, I can't explain it, I just hated it, but now I can hardly make it from one meal to the next without doing it (I'm a little fanatical). I just really like how it feels and how it tastes and...the point being for a while I think I just brushed my teeth because its what you are supposed to do, but then it became part of what I want to do. I think spiritual things are like that.

Basically go see Avatar, James Cameron hits this one out of the park!

The Ankle

So It's not pretty, but it's mostly functional. I have a definate limp, and going down stairs is pretty awful, but other than that it's just really tight and stiff. I will say that I totally undervalue walking most of the time...

Fall Weekend

Today I came home from fall weekend. This year we went to Camp Kern in Orgonia with 3 guys and 8 girls. Most of them have been coming around long enough to have all been to either camp, fall weekend or both before, but as we stopped having club for the rest of semester for lack of vision among our group we thought this would be a really good opportunity to re-inspire a desire for Young Life to be a tool for sharing Christ.

The weekend started with Wyoming's win in the quarter finals of the State Football Playoffs. That makes them regional champs! It was a great game that Wyoming really dominated expect for poor clock management and turnovers in the red zone. I think the school they played might have had 150 yards of total offense in the game, and their only scoring drive had a huge freak play. Ultimately the better team won, which, yea for us, was Wyo. They next play on Friday night a Dayton's Welcome Stadium (worst field name in all of sports...possibly). The Stadium was/is really awesome though. There is a ton of parking and the field is really nice. The only drawback is that the stands are somewhat distant from the field because of a track, and if it's the same announcer as last week he sounds like he's calling a pirates game on a 110 degree day in august. It was a lot of fun being at the game Friday in part because as they get further in the playoffs a ton of graduates are coming back to see the games and I've had the opportunity to catch up with a lot of them. I think in their eyes being there still in a way adds credibility to the time I spent with them when they were in high school. So the football game ended at about 10PM in Dayton. We left ASAP and arrived about 10 minutes before club started (perfect).

For me it was sort of added fun because the speaker was a guy named Randy Nickels (spelling?) who was the guy who spoke at Champion when I was on Work Crew. Since then he has been running all over the world (Africa & Scotland) starting Young Life and sharing Christ with communities there. He was a pretty good speaker as far as speakers go. he didn't use and illustration really, but I still thought that his presentation of the gospel was clear and understandable. I felt like talking with kids about stuff (granted we took Christians) was easy and productive for their faith and fellowship as well and their vision for what Young Life could be if they wanted to invest in it. I guess like anything else though it's easy to be excited about things while they are happening and hard to follow through went the payoff is far away. All in all though, I felt good about the way things went. Maybe the focal point of the weekend, or at least the part I will most remember happened Saturday afternoon while all the guys were playing soccer. I jumped up in the air and came down wrong on my left ankle. I sprained it pretty badly and was rolling around writhing in pain for a few minutes (waiting for the hurt to go away). After a couple minutes I had some ice, and I was sitting on the field with my ankle resting on the ice. A group of people were standing around (like people do when someone gets hurt) and out of nowhere this football comes on a line drive right through a gap in the semicircle of people standing over me and blasts me right in the face. I guess these other kids where kicking field goals about 20 yards away and shanked one right at me. At the time, it hurt a lot (amazingly no one laughed) but it was really funny thinking about it now. Unfortunately my ankle is jank and will be for a while. I can walk, but it's not comfy for sure. Hopefully I'll be able to get my boots on tomorrow otherwise I have to go see a doctor...my work is sort of dumb about missing a day.

In spite of getting hurt & sleeping on a sheet of plywood I did have a really great time, and I think it was good for everyone who went. Now I am just looking forward to working a little and eating a lot this week as well as the STATE SEMI FINALS on Friday!

Fall Break

Tonight I officially washed my hands of my first term at Cincinnati State. I thought I was done last night, but one of my teacher called me tonight to ask for something he lost; I had to do about 12 seconds of work attaching a file to an email and that was that. My grades aren't online until tomorrow, but I unofficially collected 8 credits worth of A's this fall to add to my ever lengthening transcript-and that was just early fall. I am currently registered for 8 credit hours starting on this coming Monday, however there is a strong chance 6 more get added to that pending a pre req exemption from a professor. So 14 credits...Mondays and Wednesdays 6-9 and Thursdays 5-11, and then there's some sort of online class (unknown difficulty). Don't go back you read it correctly, I have class until 11 PM on Thursday nights until early February. With that in mind if you want anything from me on Friday you might be better served waiting a day. I really don't know how that's going to go to be honest. Maybe they're bluffing in the course description and it'll end at 10 every week, maybe it'll be like this quarter and run over a half hour some weeks and end really early others, maybe it'll snow a foot and get cancelled, or snow a foot and meet anyways; I'll just have to wait and see. As far as school is concerned I like it better than anything I ever did at UC. Not only do I see a finish line with an actual job in mind for the first time ever, but Nati State is actually a better run school. It's as if the people there actually want me to succeed, not just at school, but in life. They want me to do well. So being there until after bedtime might not be so better under those circumstances.

At this point you might be saying to yourself, "Self, when is he going to hang out with high school kids?...when is he going to hang out with me?" Well it's not as bad as it sounds. I have some down time at work sometimes where I'm surrounded by engineers who also have occasional down time. Hopefully I'll be able to get a good chunk of whatever hw I have done there. Additionally I still have Tuesday nights and the weekend free to do whatever. I am just going to have to be disciplined with my spare time and actually be productive when I need to get something done. The other super perk I have is that when I get home at 11:30 I won't have to worry about finding dinner because momma will already have something for me. I don't even care if that makes me lame. Oh, as an added bonus, should I wake up late one day I don't have to go to work because they won't let me in if I'm even 1 minute late. In that case I'll have even more time to hang out.

I am praying now this week that the end result of all this business will be increased faithfulness by me. I'm not kidding myself too much here, I know it's going to be rough, but I also know when things are hard for me it makes me more faithful. For one thing I'll have less time to be an idiot. My buddy Joe is preparing a talk on the person of Paul and it got me thinking, he doesn't strike me as a guy who just hung out a lot. I think solitude and down time are important, but maybe not to the extent I am generally accustomed too. having a lot to do is conducive to living life with a sense of urgency, the key is to focus that urgency on Christ. I hope that I will become more dependant on His work and His presence this quarter, especially during the holiday season when I have such an increased opportunity to witness to my family. If you feel like praying for me pray for these things; rest, intelligence, opportunities with friends/family and incite into those opportunities, and faithfulness to what He has called me too.

Stink

Tonight I have to be in class INSTEAD of going to Young Life. The truely unfortunate part is that for the next 45ish minutes we are going to go over a quiz that I got a 106% on. After that we may or may not go over some material that I need to be here to learn, I don't know which yet. Which brings me to my point, STINK! I would much rather be listening to Alli (spelling?) talking about Jesus than Steve talking about analyzing series parallel circuits. I guess for now faithfulness means doing the thing you don't want to do in the short term so that you can get the things you want in the long term. I thought in the meantime it might be good to update my blog that I so rarely find time to post on.

I have been stuck in Philippians lately. I think it might be my favorite epistle. There are so many things that come out to me in this letter. When I read it I tend to think of Paul as this legendary guy who I could never live up to or be like, and yet somehow the call to Paul is the same call on me; "Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Christ" (I love how he starts with only). The big challenge in this for me right now is to be encouraging to the people around me. I don't say challenge in the difficult sense, though sometimes it is, but in the this is the field this calling gets played out for me on sense. Paul starts his letter as with many others by saying "Grace and Peace to you" which I think can often times come in the form of encouragement. After all Paul is constantly encouraging people on to faith. So that's what's rolling around in my head.

And now I need to pay attention for a little bit. And possibly leave...

Dulce Venganza

This year I have been watching Hard Knocks and it's made me exceptionally excited about the Bengals this season. Do I think they can make the playoffs? It's possible. I can deffinately see them winning 9 or 10 games. If that's enough for the wild card they'll get in. The division is a wrap for the Steelers already. Their D looked way tough last night. Unexpectedly I am becoming a huge Ocho Cinco fan again. I used to love him, then I didn't like him and thought he might go, and now I'm back. He is the funniest player in the league and looks like he might have the talent to back it up. I started following him on twitter (I just got it this week), and already he is cracking me up. Today he posted this picture with the comment "Let the fun begin." I think he is going to play really well this year because of the constant attention he is getting on Hard Knocks and just in general being more in the spotlight than ever. Tonight I am going to try to catch the end of Leadership after I get done with laundry here then it's off to Norwood for the Wyo game, then to the Buehler's for the weekend. Tomorrow I and super siked to be going to my first UC saturday game. It's at 7:30 against South West MO State. Should be a blowout! Also tomorrow night OSU is going to lose another game against a ranked non-conference opponent, if it weren't for that Texas game a few years ago it'd be a really long time since they won one of those. I am just wondering at what point int he game the announcers are going to say "boy, this really reminds me of last year when these teams played..."

This just in...game not blocked out Sunday! I'm out.

Wet, Very Wet

At a power plant things are manufactured to last. It just makes sense to build stuff that is going to hold up over time, especially when not having it working can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars an hour. When things are new everything runs like a dream, like it was designed, and everyone wins. Over time, however, even "industrial strength" components fail. Either from misuse, overuse, or not using it at all equipment breaks down. In a corrosive environment even things made out of the most durable of materials fail; wire insulation gets brittle and cracks off, terminal strips rust away, pipes explode, motors burn up...It's no surprise that these things happen, after all, it's not like people haven't seen it before. The funny thing is that in spite of this awareness everyone is seemingly still caught off guard when things break. With most things, you find out its broken when you need it most, but with other things it's like getting hit by a meteorite while reading your morning paper. Today became just that sort of day when a wire in a "deluge system" shorted out setting off, well, setting off a deluge. Nothing like running up 12 stories of steps in the middle of a "deluge" only to find no signs of a fire (I think that guy's still pissed). Of course you can't turn off the water to go investigate the fire because you might get there and find a fire... Today I got to fix a wire in a dripping coal tower, and all the while I was thinking about how ironic it was that they never thought to replace that wire occasionally considering the abuse it takes. Think 23 years hanging in the open air around hot vibrating equipment, often getting wet and baked in an alternating fashion and never once being replaced. I think I'd snap too.

Afterward (while I was taking our company van to get gas and a car wash) I thought about how my faith is like that. There are aspects of my faith that I set up years ago and think I'll just always have that if I ever need it. So I don't work on it or think about it for a long time until something explodes. Sometimes it's internal, sometimes everyone gets to see, in both cases it involves pain and some dirty cleanup work. Then on top of that there's the temptation to just put a bandaid on it and limp along with things still half broken instead of putting in a little more time and effort now to fix things right. What I think this boils down to for me is consistency, or more accurately inconsistency. Consistantly choosing to work on things, choosing to search things out that might be about to explode and ruin everything. I think this is what David is talking about when he prays "Examine me, O Lord, and try me; test my mind and my heart." It's healthy to get a checkup from the "great physician" even when everything seems fine. For the record, this is not how I roll most of the time. I'm all about waiting for the outward sign of the internal cancer. I think it takes a humility I don't currently have within me to daily go before the Lord in a posture of needy brokeness. More likely I use the Lord like a pez dispencer of grace. I don't do regular maintanence, I just repair the things that are already broken. I to often wait to call on the Lord until I feel like I need Him (I know...I know).

I don't know how this ties in just yet, but I have spent the last week reading and rereading the book of Joel. In it's own agrairian way it's a miniature gospel tucked away at the end of the Old Testament. Here are some exscripts...

1:6-7 "For a nation has invaded my land, mighty and without number; It's teeth are the teeth of a lion, and it has the fangs of a lioness. It has made my vine a waste and my fig tree splinters. It has stripped them bare and cast them away; their branches have become white."

2:11-13 "The Lord utters His voice before His army; Surely His camp is very great, for strong is he who carries out His word. The day of the Lord is indeed great and very awesome, and who can edure it? "Yet even now," declares the Lord, "Return to Me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping and mourning; And rend your heart and not your garments." Now retuyrn to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in loving kindness and relenting of evil."

2:25 "Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent amoung you."

2:28 "It will come about after this that I will pour out My spirit on all mankind."

2:32 "And it will come about that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be delivered..."

I started to think of the different kinds of locusts as the different kinds and consequential effects of sin in my life. Ultimately these took away a great deal of my life, and if allowed would come and do it again. The "very awesome" part of the story is that God not only takes away my yoke of slavery to sin and restores me to health, but He also "pays me back for the years lost." I guess what I have been awed by these last few days is the redemptive depth of God's power and grace, and how it fits with my own irregularity, my own inconsistency. I think there are some aspects of God's work in our lives that are easier to point to than others; Several times He lists qualities in scripture that we should grow in over time, but some are more hidden. One I have found recently is that walking with the Lord over time is making me more consistent, more dependable, more reliable. I'm not saying I don't have a long way to go, but these are qualities He has and as we walk with Him, it's Him we become like. When we look at Christ we see ourselves more accurately.

Softball

This past weekend I put together a team last minute to play in the Denny Buehler Memorial Softball Tournament. It's a benefit co-ed tournament played at Spoils Field in Green Hills; this year there were 14 teams. The two great things that happened were one, that we were able to get a team together, and two, that no matter how awful your team is your guaranteed two games. Of course my team lost our first two games making a hasty exit from the bracket, but in spite of being run ruled I think everyone had a really great time playing. It's just a wierd atmosphere were winning isn't so important (this is very easy for losers to say) as showing up and being part of the community. Almost everyone who comes understands pretty quickly that its a lot more about having a good time and raising money for a good cause than it is about winning. I think that's why you see a lot of people sticking around Saterday after they're out and even coming back Sunday. Most of the teams that participate are many time alumni of the tournament, and it seems like everyone knows everyone. I've only been coming around for a few years and I already feel like I know a lot of people. Now that it's a little less daunting I am planning on organizing a team to play every year.

This year for me maybe the best time I had was late Saterday night after all the games for the day where over. Lot's of people are left drinking beer and haning out, and a few of us were going around picking up empty cups and stuff when I looked out on the field and saw Peg and a bunch of kids running around with a tennis ball and a wiffle bat. I realize now that this group of 8-10 kids had just hung out all day and watched their parents play a game they couldn't. Now it was thier turn. So Ed, one of his cousins, and I dropped our stuff and went out and played a little 3 inning game with them. It was awesome because all of them could hit the ball somewhat if you pitched it to them enough times, then Ed, Cousin, Peg and I would just chase them around the bases making errors and letting them score. Eventually we would get the old kids out and then it would be our turn to bat. Our general policy was run until you score or you're out with a couple exceptions. I don't know at what age your priority becomes hitting and not playing the field, but these kids weren't that old yet because I think they had just as much fun chasing us as being chased. In the end everyone was a champion.

For more on the tournament visit here.

Camp

Tomorrow I leave for Young Life Camp for the first time since 2006. Last night I was packing, and I realized that it really had been a few years since I had to get all this stuff together. I don't know if this is actually true, but I feel like as a leader, I should have everything. I mean there are costumes, garbage bags, duct tape, sunscreen, snacks, cards, and extra stuff for people who don't have stuff. I think I am mostly together, but we'll see. I still need to find some swim trunks. I think I have about 10 pairs, but can't find any.

Practically, I want to ask for prayer for the week. Pray for kids; Joe, Eric, Jake, Matt, Dillon, and Antwione, and pray for me; that I stay out of God's way and represent Him as well as I can. Camp is such a great opportunity for people to hear the Truth of Christ and feel the power of His love in their lives apart from the everyday distractions of life at home. About 7 years and a week ago I gave my life to Christ at a Young Life Camp in Michigan, and for me it has made all the difference. We will be sharing a cabin with Princeton, I don't know to much about their group, but pray that everyone gets along well for the week. Thanks for all of your support this week. ~ 1 Cor 15:58...

Hooker

Some of you may already have heard this story, for those of you who have not, it may be my #1 story from all of my time living in Clifton. A week or two ago I went to Joe Decker's Graduation Ceremony. After the ceremony ended I had to run home to change, grab my stuff for my team meeting and softball, and head back up to the Decker's for a reception of sorts before my team meeting. On my way home I got stopped at the traffic light on the corner of Marshall and Central Parkway. It was a nice day so I had my windows down (a fateful decision). While waiting at the light a woman ~ 30ish approached my car wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt.

Woman- "Hey, can you give me a ride up the hill?"

Me- "Sure hop in, just let me move some stuff out of the way." (As I move the stuff out of my front seat.)

Woman- "Can you roll the windows up?" (As the light changes and we start driving up the hill)

Me- "Sure"

Woman- (Very intentionally) "So how do I know you're not a cop?"

*At this point I realized what was happening*

Me- (Very accusing) "How do I know you're not a cop?"

Woman- "How old are you anyways?"

Me- "23"

Woman- "So what's up?"

Me- "Just on my way home from graduation."

Woman- "Congratulations"

Me- "It wasn't my graduation."

Woman- (Almost wiggling/writhing in her seat) "So you want to have some fun or what?"

Me- (Almost laughing) "No!"

Woman- (Very indignant) "Well, Why'd you pick me up then."

Me- (Shocked) "You asked me for a ride, I was giving you a ride!"

Woman- (huffing and puffing and ughing)

Me- "Well, that's as far as I'm going...get out of my car."

After that she got out of my car significantly upset by how things unfolded. Since then I have wondered if I will see her again slinking along the sides of the street somewhere. While looking for her I have realized I am now forever prejudiced against any girl that happens to be walking along that corner wearing anything that looks even remotely skanky. THEY ARE ALL WHORES is what I think to myself.

I have given people a short ride probably 10 times in or around Clifton. Honestly I don't think I've ever turned anyone down. One time I got to give a guy a Bible and invite him to the Vineyard. His name was Obate, he was a refugee from Rwanda seeking asylum in the US. Most of the people I don't have any cool stories about, I don't even remember most of there names. I don't know how this would be interpreted, but doesn't the Bible say a lot about helping the man who asks. I won't just give people money, but I will buy someone a meal, or a gallon of gas, or some groceries, or give them a ride a couple miles. This time I drove a crack whore half a mile, who knows what may happen next time.

I think it is also important to note the ripples this encounter has created in a few other areas in my life. It has highlighted for me a passage; 1 Corinthians 1:18 "For the word of God is foolishness tot hose who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." It's amazing to me how polarized people are when it comes to giving time, money, rides ect. There are a host of people in my life who ask me "why would you ever want to do that" anytime I freely give something of mine away; that's just foolishness... There is another group of people who see it as the power of God working in my life for the benefit of others. In the middle is a group of people who I think experience a sort of internal friction when they see or hear about something like that. I think when outsiders see Christians actually living it out they sometimes feel a sense that they too were created to be part of something bigger.

I asked my Dad this (he thought I was dumb for giving anyone a ride) and it made me think to myself how I should be asking myself the same thing more often. If I claim to be a Christian, shouldn't I have a bunch of stories like this one; encounters with people that are living broken lives?

You Found Me

I've seen some pretty cool things lately. I feel like all I have done is work, but outside of that it really seems like God is after some people surrounding me. I have been doing this Bible study with some HS guys on Wednesday nights. Basically we are reading through John a couple chapters per week. It's primarily Joe and I every week, then some other friends of Joe's sort of come and go. Some of these guys I've known for a long time, some of them I meet when I show up. The crazy thing is I feel like there has been some consistency from not only Joe, but also some of his friends. In general the kids have been reading the material beforehand, which is crazy! I love it for a few reasons which I will make into a list, because I like lists.

1.) All I have to do is read and show up.

2.) It's at chipotle and its just fun to have some built in time just hanging out with guys and eating food every week.

3.) The kids have been reading, and wouldn't you know it the Bible seems to have something to say to them.

4.) My boy Joe is seeing what it's like to invest in his friends and see fruit from it.

5.) Honestly some of the things the guys share are genuinely awesome incites.

So I love this thing, it's like the brightest part of the bright spot for me right now. It seems like a silly thing to say (or a really obvious thing to say), but I don't feel like I have to try so hard at this. My approach is that I know Joe will be there every week, and if it's just him, great we can hang out; but every week some other guys end up coming having read and thought through the stuff a little bit. I don't prepare anything besides taking notes like I would for my quiet times, but to be honest I haven't really been reading anything besides the stuff in John and some Psalms. I just come and see what God is going to do every week, and I love it. I think it was Theresa who said something like "relax in the ministry" to me or our team or something this semester. That has never been my approach though. I always try to do "to much." I always try to be Jesus for people. I know I'm not, but still, I'm an idiot. I think I am starting to look at being used by God differently. It doesn't necessarily mean personally manifesting what I think God should be doing for the people around me, it means something more along the lines of trying to be in a good position so that if God wants to manifest something with His power through my life I am available and aware. It's a complicated idea that I don't really understand yet so good luck with this... Let me try an analogy (this is in part stolen from a certain Mr. Young).

Haggai 2:23 "My servant, declares the LORD, I will make you like a signet ring, for I have chosen you," declares the Lord of hosts."

I think when I am walking with Christ He is changing and arranging things in my life so that I am more like Him. This applies to everything, but some of the big ones I am noticing lately are my heart (the things I want or desire), my ministry, and my personality. So Christ moulds them, like a ring. A signet ring is the ring an emissary or king would use to make an impression upon wax that was poured to seal an envelope. This would signify that the document was from the person to whom the ring belonged. If Christ is making me into a Signet ring, I think it could me that He is moulding me so that when He uses me somewhere, it leaves His mark on the place/person/transformers movie... So here's my analogy; It's not so much my job to do the stamping just to hold the shape He moulds me into as best I can and be available so that when He wants to do some stamping He can. Maybe this is cheap and lame, but I like the imagery and it's my blog.

Windows to Heaven

Saturday night James and I had some kids over to the Buehler's (I'm house sitting while they ski in Utah) to hang out and play some Killer Bunnies and the Journey to Jupiter. Some people wanted to get some Chipotle so we headed up to the one in Finneytown. I was standing in line next to a guy who knew, but I couldn't place where or how exactly. Finally I said that I remembered him from somewhere, but didn't know from where. He said "Well I know who you are. Your name is Matt right?"

I still didn't know how I knew him until he said "When I was a freshman at Mt. Healthy high school I played basketball and you came to every game. You were the only one who supported us and we were horrible. I thought you were my only friend in the world."

It was like getting punched in the gut. That was the first semester I was leading. I remember one of the things someone said in NLT was that its a good idea to pick a sport and then go to every game, so I did. They won 3 games that season. I thought it was totally wasted time honestly. I never got to hang out with any of those kids even once. I never saw any of them come to Christ, or do anything like that. We closed down Young Life their junior year at which time one of the kids was in juvie. We say in Young Life that you never know the impact you make. To be honest I never bought into that much, at least I never fully believed it, but here was a case where exactly that happened. It was crazy!

We didn't talk about anything faith related. He told me he was at ITT Tech working on a Computer Drafting program. He is doing a co-op next semester. This conversation was a gift to me I think. It gave me a fresh faith to do contact work and spend time investing in kids even when I think they don't notice. Thinking about it later I realized again that god is faithful even when I am not.

After we got our food he left and we stayed. I'll probably never see him again, but that wasn't the end of this story. Maybe the best part was still about to happen. Joe, one of my guys, is a senior at CCS and wants to lead next year when he goes to UC. He saw this whole conversation unfold and thought it was sort of creepy and awkward. He asked me about it, and I saw a great opportunity to give something away. I got to talk with Joe about contact work and what leading Young Life is about, and most importantly about the faithfulness of God. It was one of my best moments as a leader.

I think its interesting that this whole set of interactions had nothing to do with me and everything to do with God really. I was focused on getting some burrito, and God was orchestrating something amazing in my life and in Joe's.

Hidden Gem

I have been reading in most of my spare time preparing for this paper I have to write this quater for a class called comparative literature. Basically the assignment is to compare types, sytles, genres, ages, whatever of written language. There are a few guidelines, but none of them matter to me because they're things like it has to be the english language or work not your own... So I have been reading... I found some really cool things, but tonight I found this and just had to post it:

"Don Malarkey, age 22, E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment:

As the battalion proceeded toward the causeway that we were to take, we had not gone more than five or six hundred yards when machine-gun fire started breaking out and the column halted. Colonel Bob Strayer, the battalion commander, ordered E Company to mkae an attack on the position. I believe there were twelve of us, led by Lieutenant Dick Winters from Pennsylvania, the platoon leader, and Lieutenant Buck Compton from Los Angeles, the assistant platoon leader.

We went through an aorchard area to approach the position, and when we were very close by, Lieutenant Winters stopped us all and had us line up along the hedgerow looking into the position, which incorporated and emplacement of four German 88s. We all lined up and placed withering fire into the position with all our weapons, prior to making an assualt.

Buck Compton went first, and as he dropped into the entrenchment he saw a German standing about fifteen feet from him. He drew his tommy gun and fired, but the gun jammed. In the meantime, the German ran away down the trench. Compton turned and waved us all across and we proceeded toward the first gun. Robert "Popeye" Wynn, from Virginia, was with me and got hit halfway across.

As I neared the gun I could see the crew of a German 88 firing straight down the field. They couldn't traverse on us, but they were firing at whatever enemy forces they might hit in that vicinity. I pulled a grenade and threw it, but the two gunmen were already hit either by Buck Compton or by Lieutenant Winters. Both of them, I think, fired simultaneously.

When I got there one of the crew was lying dead under the gun and the other had run out into the field about fifty yards before he went down. I could see that he had a case on his hip, which I thought was a German Luger. I thought, Well, I'd better go and get that gun, so i ran out on the field, and as I knelt down Lieutenant Winters saw me and started yelling at me tha I was stupid and should get the hell out of there as the place was crawling with Germans.

Across the main hedgerow, toward the family farm of Brecort, the whole road was lined with German infantry with machine guns. They apparently thought I was a medic, because they didn't fire at me when i was going out to where the german lay. But when Winters yelled and I jumped up and started running back, four or five machine guns started firing at me and the bullets were kicking up the ground all around me.

I dove under the gun, which was dug in below the surface of the ground about eighteen inches. I lay there, face up, as they kept firing in the gun and fragments of bullets dropped into my face. I finally turned over to keep that from happening and the kept intermittently.

I was stuck until Bill Guarnere, my sergeant, got along the hedgerow to about five or six feet away from me. He said, "We'll time their bursts." So he started timing the bursts of the machine-gun fire that came in and he said, "OK, as soon as you hear the next burst, jump up and run to me." I did that, and i got out of there without being hit.

From then on, we fought there through a good part of the day and eventually captured three of the gunners."

This passage comes from a book called "The Oral History of D-Day" that is made of of several hundred first hand accounts like this one. Some of the stories are millitary reports, some are from letters home, others are stories by journalists along for the ride, but every angle gets its spot; Germans, Americans, Brits, French, and everything else. So far I like it a lot, but how nuts is it that this passage is in the book.

Unrequited Devotion

Elizabeth Elliot tells of a conversation she had with Gladys Aylward, missionary to China:

"She had been a missionary in China for 6 or 7 years before she ever thought of wanting a husband. When a Brittish couple canme to work near her, she began to watch the wonderful thing they had in marriage, and to desire it for herself. Being a woman of prayer she prayed-a straightforward request that God would send a man from England, send him straight out to China, and have him propose. She leaned toward me on the sofa on which we were sitting, her black eyes snapping, her boney little forefinger jabbing at my face. "Elizabeth," she said, "I believe God answers prayer! He called him." Then, in a whisper of keen intensity, "but he never came.""

New Job!

I am watching the playoffs today, and I can't help but thinking that the Bengals will never be here. They squeeked out 4 wins this year, just enough to stave off major organizational changes that need to happen. I hate Mike Brown, I hope he leaves the city.

Thursday I had an interview for a postion as an electrician for a company called ICS Electric. They do a different kind of electric than BizCom that is much more involved on the technical end of things. Think of it like this; BizCom primarily puts in lights, switches, outlets, phone lines, internet, security, and other wire running applications, ICS is a more industrial company. They do things like build big switch gear, install temperature and pressure gauges in factories or power plants, design computer management software for the sensors, and various other systems. The cool thing about the interview was that the owner really projected the company as a place to make an investment as an employee long term, and in turn be well rewarded for that investment. From what I could tell it sounds like a good job doing something I will like learning and doing so I'm taking the job. I start on the 19. If you care (which you don't) they have a pretty thorough website. http://www.icselectricalservices.com/index.htm

Following my interview I had to go take a phyical and drug screening before I could start. It was to late in the day thursday so I went yesterday. Before I left the interview I specifically asked if I needed to make an appointment at the office. They said no, but I wasn't really surprised when I showed up Friday and they asked if I had an appointment. I didn't so I got to wait around for an hour before they had time for me. I have never had a physical this thorough before. They took blood, the did strength tests on most of my major joints, pushed on my belly (I have no idea what this checks), checked a bunch of reflex spots, tested my vision and hearing, body fat (17%), and of course checked the old hurnias. All in all I felt pretty examined when I was done. Before they did the physical they had me pee in a cup. I didn't think that would be to much of a big deal, but they do all kinds of things I didn't expect. For starters they put you in this bathroom that only has a curtain. Secondly they have the top of the water tank on the back of the toilet taped shut, and they squirt blue dawn dishsoap in the water so you can cheat and steal some of the water from the toilet for your sample. Then after that they take the temperature of your urine to make sre that it was actually in your body (more on this later). They put it in 3 bottles all of which they show you are sealed before they fill them, and then you have to initial all of them as evidence that nothing was tampered with.

After my physical the nurse lady told me that she forgot to take the temperature of my sample, and that I had to produce more urine. Who can really pee twice in a half hour? so I had to wait around drinking water until I could pee again. I got to the office at 1:30 I left at 4:50. It was aweful. That said, pending the results of my drug screening (fingers crossed), I have a new job. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing really. I guess if there is a downside its going to be the first 8 weeks. Apparently the whole company is starting this ne wproject at a power plant somewhere on the Ohio that will require everyone to work 6 10 hour days a week. He said the Saterdays where really mandatory, but that almost everyone works because its so much extra money. I don't know how all that's going to play out yet with leading and my class, but it seems silly to me not to take a job I could see myself at for a long time because the first 8 weeks will be tough.

Concrete-ice

I drive somewhere almost everyday. I don't mean I ride somewhere everyday, but that I actually drive my car. I would guess in the last year that's true of 360 days. Yesterday though, I did not drive anywhere. This is only important because when I woke up this morning and decided to go somewhere the icey snow stuff on my car was not just the regular it snowed a little last night consistency. It had hardened into something else. Apparently if you leave snow on your car for a couple days it changes it from snow to military grade concrete-ice. I think it happens because its on there, and then it warms up in the sun and melts a little bit but not really, then refreezes overnight. Did I mention thawing my car is one of my least favorite things to do? It took extra long today...Moral of this story; either don't live in Ohio, or go somewhere everyday when its cold and percipitaty out.

Streaker

"at that time the Lord spoke through Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, "Go and loosen the sackcloth from your hips and take your shoes off your feet." And he did so, going naked and barefoot. And the Lord said, "Even as my servant Isaiah has gone naked and barefoot three years as a sign and token..."~Isaiah 20:2-3

Seriously?

The Frey

I like to start by apologizing for my absence for the past few weeks. I haven't been around a computer to much since James took the laptop home to Hamilton, but now that school has started again things should be back to normal. That, however, might be the only thing back to normal in my life...but I'll have to qualify that with a story of sorts.

The holiday season this year was as good as any I've had in a long time. I got to spend some quality time with all the different parts of my family, and really enjoyed being off around Christmas instead of it being the busiest time of the year (like at my old job). With all the changes in my life over the past few months I have been surprisingly excited about most things. Unfortunately the changes in my life have not all been at my choosing (they never are). Most recently I have been laid off from my new job with Biz Com Electric. They let 10 people go on Friday including me. I don't know yet how everything is going to play out. I have enough savings to live for a while without working, so I'm not panicking, but I do need to find work quickly. I have some options and need to make some decisions, but am confident everything will work out. This wasn't in the plan though that's for sure.

Here are my options as of today, there are others, but none I am interested in pursuing right now:

1.) Call Biz Com tomorrow and see if work has picked up and they are wiling to take me back. I say this (though it sounds silly after only 1 business day) because I was instructed by the owner to do so during the lay off conversation.

2.) Take the other job offered to me today by another IEC member company for less money.

3.) Continue trying to find a better paying job, possibly outside the electrical industry, until business picks back up.

At this point I am confident that something will work out. I have held the contention all along that anyone actively pursuing employment can find it, not to mention I also happen to think God has my back.

Other than that it looks as though I am going to start leading yl again this week. I wouldn't have bet on that a month ago, but it seems God is not finished with me in that ministry yet. I am excited about coming back to be honest. I miss going to games and hanging out with kids. I have enjoyed the extra time to be around the house doing things, and the flexibility in my schedule has allowed me to figure out some occupational problems that would have otherwise likely gone undealt with, but it is not a viable longterm option. I am as convinced as ever that I was designed to be giving my life away. It just doesn't feel right to me to only focus all of my energy all of the time on me and my life. I can't believe Jesus died on the cross so I can play 360 all night forever. Young Life is a solid ministry because if you make yourself available to Him God will truly use your life as an instrument of love and grace in the lives of others. I don't know exactly how things will go the next year of my life, but I feel good about knowing I am His and "He has prepared good works for me to do."

A bunch more changes! Hurray! Seriously though I am still exited about stuff. I really think things will work out. Joel (and now his recently published wife too) says I am going to be victorious and I agree. I am reminded of the Sermon on the Mount where we are counseled against worrying about the things of this world, but instructed to seek first His Kingdom. I am going to try to do that this week.

"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."~ John 16:33