Sickness

I haven't really posted anything int he alst few days. That's because I have been really really sick. Not just sore throat headache sick, I mean the virus in your stomach sick. In two days I've lost 15 pounds I bet. I ate lunch today, it was the first thing I've really eaten since Monday night. I have been trying to drink a lot, keeping hydrated is important to getting better from sickness or so I am told. it was particularly poor timing as I have an exam tomorrow and for the majority of the week have not really been able to focus my eyes to read long enough to accomplesh anything. I couldn't even really watch TV. I would just fall asleep for a while only to wake up and throw up something that wasn't there to throw up. It was rough. i think now though that I am mostly out of the woods. I am just very weak still, probably because I haven't eaten very much. So tonight I will try to study as much as I can before I fall asleep.

I will say one thing though, being sick made me stop. I didn't do anything for 2 1/2 days I really did nothing. I didn't go anywhere, I didn't talk to anyone, I just stayed home and rested. I didn't have a choice really, but still it was a needed break. I'd like to say that my break starts next week and I'd have rested then, but I wouldn't have. I had a lot of time to think about stuff going on around me, and it was that wierd kind of half conscious thought you have when your really sick. I was more able to look at things objectively than I usually am. One thing I noticed was that though I am much better at being gracious and considerate of other people I am still not great at it. I still do things that frustrate people and don't even realize it. The second thing I noticed is that I still care way to much what people think about me and what I am doing. I should be living my life for Christ and no other reason, to often I find myself pursueing lots of other things. Maybe the last big thing that I realized is that I am a good friend. I will pretty much do anything for my friends. I am good at being self sacraficing in friend relationships. My words may not always be the right ones, but more often than not my actions back me up.

My big worry right now is the Holiday Dinner that we are doing for Mt. Healthy kids next Tuesday. I am pretty sure that we are going to have plenty of food, and that all the organizational stuff is going to work itself out. Thing thing I am nervous about is kids. Once again I am making myself to improtant in this, but I haven't been able to go up to the school at all this week. Monday I had exams and the rest of the week I have been sick. Now I am leaving for work. So really I only get Friday and Monday to recruit kids to come. That makes me nervous. I am sure that God is big, and all the kids that he wants to be there will be. I am just not ok with my lack of control in that and I should be. If I can just make it through tueday I'll be fine. Sweet action